Sex is for FAGS! - Abstinence Coolness for Boys
The Sex is for Fags! Abstinence-Only Education Program is produced by the US Dept. of Health & Human Services and the White House Office of Youth Purity.

What's New
Having Trouble Deciding Which Abstinence-Only Activities Are Right For You? Check Out:
» 10 THINGS ALL THE COOL DUDES ARE DOING INSTEAD OF BEING LAME AND QUEER AND HAVING SEX!

Cool Program Testimonials
Bert F.: "My body is a sacred place, for holy stuff like Capri Sun juices, Lunchable Chicken Dunks, and Slim Jims (I like to snap into them!). The one thing that won't EVER go into my body? Girl slime!"
Greg B.: "I joined Sex is for Fags after watching girls who put out turn my big brother into a major wuss. By learning to repress my urges, now I can to grow up and be what I always wanted: a prison guard or a priest."
Zach P.: "Premarital sex isn't worth it! You can catch AIDS, or cancer, or testicle weevils, or a bad body image or rickets. You know what IS worth it? Making love to Jesus. Because you can't knock Him up and He'll never ask what you're thinking – cuz He already knows!"
Tim R.: "I hate fags. Dude, I mean, dudes who can't stop touching their wangs? DUDE. So, like, I joined Sex Is For Fags because it IS. You won't catch me doing that – with dudes OR chicks. Well, at least not until I get my trust fund and start needing some serious tax deductions."
Flaunt Your Awesome Purity With RADICAL GEAR! Cool Dudes Everywhere Can't Get Enough of Bitchin' New Sex is for Fags Shirts and Stuff! Check It!
Take the SEX IS FOR FAGS Abstinence-Only Pledge
I, [MY NAME], hereby pledge:

1. To stay massively cool by not having sex. Because only major losers have sex – which everyone knows is only for fags.

2. To never let any slutty girls peer pressure me into touching their vaginas – because vaginas are totally gay.

3. To ignore my raging hormones and burning drive to fondle, suckle, and thrust furiously into a hot gooey pit of creamy-soft fleshy ecstasy.

4. To keep my groinal giblets inside my GAP khakis, and to punch those sweaty bits into submission whenever they percolate with desire.

5. To never spill my sacred "dude milk" – unless it is inside of some hot babe who already married me and took my last name.

I understand that abstaining from sex protects me from:

The regret and guilt caused by the disgusting, squishy act of stupid sex, which is basically like going to the toilet from the front side.

Making retard babies out of wedlock, then having to blow my whole allowance on diapers and a stroller instead of XBox games and Snickers.

Catching a brain-rotting STD like "Finger Herpes" from "feeling up" any nasty dirty girlie holes.

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